


Self Love Time

by cheeseytofu



Category: Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fluff, Gender or Sex Swap, Homophobic Language, Internalized Homophobia, Internalized Transphobia, Non-Graphic Violence, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:01:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24482443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheeseytofu/pseuds/cheeseytofu
Summary: Basically my Action! comic but with the characters gender bent!
Relationships: Adrien Davidson/Janessa Tang, Adrienne Davidson/Jean Carlos Tang
Kudos: 2





	Self Love Time

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't read my comic, don't worry. I changed the story a bit so there won't be any spoilers here. You can enjoy this story and the comic as separate entities, but if might be a bit easier to follow along if you know the characters.
> 
> The link to my comic is right here!:  
> https://tapas.io/series/Action-/info
> 
> And if you'd like to see the genderbent designs I made, you can check it out here (I'm so so sorry for the old art oml I gotta redraw them):  
> https://cheeseytofu.tumblr.com/post/176277360471/some-gender-swap-concepts-for-my-action-comic
> 
> If it wasn't obvious I put a lot of my heavy thoughts into my characters so I apologize to those sensitive to transphobia and such... ya boi's gotta vent somehow. You've been warned º _ º

Rennie was hoping to take a last few more deep breaths to calm her nerves before she had to walk into her new classroom, but she was already waiting at the door listening to her guidance counselor explain some other mundane things about the school and her schedule, something like “come to me if you need anything,” “don't be afraid to ask for help,” whatever spiel these counselors normally give to school new students.

Not that Rennie would know, this was her first time ever going to a new school in her life. Maybe if she was in middle school, or elementary, or even a freshman this would have been far less scary, but unluckily for her, it was already a few months into her sophomore year when her Mom and Evelyn up and moved to a new state entirely. As if being the “weird thespian-nerd” in her old school wasn't enough, now she got the chance to be bullied all over again. Granted, that was part of the reason they moved in the first place. Her mother thought this would make the bullying easier for her, but as much as Rennie wanted to believe maybe she could have a shot at being left alone in this new building, she knew that wouldn't be happening. She caught a glimpse of herself in the reflection of the window on the door of the classroom opposite of her and remembered exactly why.

Her long hair was held up and pushed around her shoulder with thin cornrows that came from the back of her ear, down to the bottom of her neck. She was originally going to put a small yellow bow where the braids met the rest of her hair, but decided against it. She didn't want to be berated with comments about being “gay” on her first day. She looked feminine enough as it is with the pastel yellow sweater that she got from Evelyn, matched with the dark brown skinny jeans. They weren't supposed to be skinny, she just can never find a pair of jeans that fit her nicely.

She was a fat, socially awkward, closeted trans girl. There is no way she'll survive in any other school.

At least she had a couple friends at her old school. Well, actually, there wasn't much there either, now that Rennie considered it. After her closest childhood friend Navie decided to keep a distance from her after those rumors went around that they were gay lovers, most of her other “friends” got more and more distant.

She really needed to take a couple deep breaths.

“So here's your schedule, you can go ahead inside your classroom now, Adrien. Good luck!” The counselor said with a smile, handing her the paper schedule before heading back to his own office.

What she wouldn't give for some luck right now.

Subconsciously holding her breath, Rennie turned to her classroom door and turned the handle slowly, trying to get control of her head before she had to start the day. Her first class was Acting, which couldn't have been too bad. She was genuinely interested in the course, so maybe she was lucky enough to have a nice start to her days.

The door creaked open and as she stepped inside, the first thing she noticed was the teacher's desk, sitting right beside the corner by the door. The man seemed polite, he was at his desk computer, probably taking attendance, when he noticed Rennie step in and brightened up with a smile

“Well hello there young man!” He said, sitting up out of his chair. 

“Ah, yeah, Hi. Are you, uh, Mr. Firtz?” Her voice was as weak as it always was when talking to new people and she inwardly scolded herself for stuttering, but thankfully the teacher didn't seem to pay that any mind.

“Yes, you must be my new student! Welcome to my Acting 1 class!” Mr. Firtz said, shaking Rennie's hand, “What's your name again?”

“Adrienne… but- um, I go by Rennie...”

“Well Rennie, why don't you take a seat in that empty desk there?” Mr. Firtz extended his hand to the row of desks hugging the wall, from one end of the classroom to the other. Looking to where Mr. Firtz was gesturing, Rennie caught sight of the seat he was referring to. There was one empty desk beside a tall girl with tan skin and bleached blond hair.

She was chatting with a boy sitting beside her, one that made Rennie entirely too uncomfortable. There was nothing wrong about him, per say, he just looked a lot like the guys that would bully her at her old school. With his big toothed grin and long wavy hair curling in front of his attractive face, he definitely gave off the impression that he was… not a goody two shoes like she was, to say the least. The girl didn't seem as intimidating, her pink sweater and tight blue jeans made her look preppy even, but the same wide eyes grin made Rennie think she was no better. She didn't mean to be so judgemental, but if she let herself be vulnerable it wouldn't end well. Especially now that she doesn't know anyone in this new building.

They must've felt her staring, cause the girl looked up to meet eyes with her. Rennie immediately averted her eyes and held her head down, clutching her backpack straps tighter in her hands. She could still feel her eyes on her, and tell through her peripherals as the guy started to stare too. If she just took her seat now, maybe she'd be less of a spectacle in front of the class like this, so with her head held down she quickly walked to the empty seat offered to her.

Just before she reached the seat, the sound of something slamming on her desk caught Rennies attention, and she looked up in confusion. Her eyes met again with the guy from a moment ago, who was sitting on her desk and eyeing her with a look of curiosity. Or disinterest? She couldn't tell, his brows were furrowed together but a creepy grin had found its way onto his face as he stared at her, but either way she didn't like the way it felt to be stared down by this guy and his friend.

“Who're you?” he said, sounding almost amused and leaning towards her further. His voice sounded low and gravely, the type of raspiness you were born with rather than being a smoker. From the way he smelled though, she wouldn't be surprised if he did smoke.

Although every instinct was telling her to say whatever she could to get this guy off her desk, cause it was rude and unnecessary and she just wanted to get this day over with, Rennie knew if she approached anyone with a rude attitude she was sure to get herself in more trouble she couldn't handle with her weak self. After a shaky deep breath, she tried to spit out a normal response.

“Im, uh, my- my name is-”

“Spit it out sweetheart, I don't got all day” He cut her off, getting his friend to chuckle. The sound irked her.

If he would just let her  _ speak _ , maybe she would've told him! Still, her whole body started to burn again as she felt the familiar feeling of shame and embarrassment rush over her. Rennie can't stand the stupid stutter she gets whenever she talks to people, and guys like  _ this _ definitely didn't make it any easier on her.

“Habalas español or something?” the girl added on with the same wide mouthed grin

“Ah, bienvenido a nuestra escuela, hermosa~”

She didn't get what he was saying but the tone and the way the guy lifted her chin in his hand, forcing her to look up at him had anxious chills running up her spine. Sure, he was attractive, but it was always cute boys like this that would take advantage of people like her to mess around and laugh at her. She knew it all to well, and she wasn't in the mood for another year of the same shameful treatment she always had to deal with.

"The teacher told me to sit here...” Rennie managed to spit out despite her trembling

“Oh did he? Sorry, I'm feelin real comfy here right about now” He finally takes his hand off her and leans back, making it a point to look comfortable where he was.

Just as she thought, the two started to laugh with each other as they watched her face contort to discomfort. Rennie is so sick of people like this treating her like garbage and laughing at her right in her face. Doesn't this stuff get old? Being a jerk like that? Rennie has heard every comment, every slur, and been pushed into every locker, and yet people still don't stop their torment.

Whatever though, she thinks as their laughter calms down. She's dealt with it for this long, she can learn to manage.

“Jean Carlos, Gabriella, what's going on over there?!” The three turned to see Mr. Firtz standing again, glaring at the two, “Get off that desk and let him take his seat!”

“Aw c'mon Mister, we just messin around” Jean chuckles back, sliding off the desk

“Yeh, you gotta mess with the new ones, Mister!” Gabriella backed up.

Just when Rennie thought they'd finally shut up, she sees Jean whack Gabriella upside the head as he says, 

“Aye get up, I wanna sit next to the new kid”

She grins as she stands up to give him the seat

“You're gonna make that kid regret coming here”

With that, the two trade seats leaving Rennie to reluctantly plop down in the seat next to him. She sighs to herself as she feels Jean lean in closer to her, smirking at her with the most unfriendliest eye's she's seen today. 

“No kidding…” She mutters to no one but herself

This was gonna be a long fucking year.

\---

Since that day, Jean and Gabriella (mostly Jean), had spent every moment of that class messing with Rennie. Nudging her to get answers on their work, making comments about her thick square and “nerdy” glasses, laughing about how she genuinely enjoyed some of the plays and scenes they were given to analyze. Jean was especially annoying, he always made it a point to get way too close to her. He'd point out little things about her outfit saying she “looked cute”, constantly lean into her personal space to ask her stupid questions like “Made any new  _ friends  _ yet, new kid?“, or just get uncomfortably close to her at her locker.

It wasn't left to her first period alone either, It seemed like Jean figured out a way to annoy her no matter where she was. His excuse would be to show her around the school because she admittedly didn't know her way around the large building. She doesn't know how, but it seemed like he remembered her schedule from that alone because more often than not she'd spot him skipping class and stopping by the window of her classrooms to make stupid gestures, or flat out waiting for her to leave her period just to greet her with a too-friendly arm around her shoulder with another random comment or tease art her book smarts.

To be honest, Jean wasn't… horrible. He was hardly ever deliberately mean to her like all her other bullies, he was mostly just annoying and Rennie could definitely tolerate annoying.

It wasn't how she'd preferred her school year to go, but it was definitely a lot easier to handle the inward sigh and eye roll she felt every morning here rather than the painful guttural churn of anxiety whenever she entered the front doors of her old school.

Rennie was doing a lot better than she was before, that was for sure.

In fact, one day in particular really left Rennie feeling some type of way about her so called “bully” in this school. She doesn't know what to make of it, but whatever it was has had her seeing things differently.

It was one of the dreaded days when Rennie had made the stupid mistake of drinking too much water throughout the day. She had accidentally fallen asleep on her back the night before, and without a pillow to keep her mouth shut, there was nothing stopping her from falling asleep with her mouth open. She woke up with a horribly dry mouth and downed numerous cups of water before making her way to the bus stop. Sitting in her 3rd period class with her leg bouncing up and down frantically and trying to be discreet about holding her thighs firmly together, she was beginning to deeply regret that decision. Rennie has tried avoiding bathrooms since middle school, it always ended horribly for her. There was a time and place for everything, and Rennie was quick to learn that school was never the time or the place for her to use the bathroom.

But… It was only 3rd period and she was positive that if she had to hold it any longer she'd be pissing herself before the end of 4th. So she hesitantly made her way down to the mens room, trying her best to ignore the sign as her shaking hands pushed the door open. She came inside slowly, expecting and preparing for the worst, but was happy to find it empty. She quickly looked around the stalls, checking to make sure she was alone, and surely enough every stall was vacant. She couldn't help the sigh of relief as she let herself into a stall to finally relieve herself. She tried to make her visit quick just in case, but just as she was about to leave her stall, the sound of a door opening and loud voices echoing in the room made it clear that she no longer had the bathroom to herself.

The voices weren't familiar, which didn't come by a surprise, but that had her feeling all the more nervous. The voices just congregated around the opposite end of the room near the sinks, none of them even using the bathrooms or urinals.

Perfect, Rennie thought to herself, she just so happened to be in here when a group of guys decided to cut class in the bathroom. The smell of cigarette smoke started to fill her nose and she groaned knowing she'd have to be here a while if she wanted to leave unseen. Unfortunately for her, she still had a class she actually cared to show up to, so waiting for the boys to leave wasn't an option. She took a deep breath to will herself to leave, figuring the quicker she was out, the safer she'd be.

Again with the shaking hands, she pushed open the stall door and quietly made her way to the sinks, the one furthest from the group of boys she was refusing to look at. Avoiding eye contact had always been pretty helpful when Rennie was trying to avoid the stares she felt on the back of her neck, but it wasn't working so well for her then. The various voices had paused as soon as she came up to the faucet

“Yo… is that a girl?” One voice whispered, as if she wasn't  _ right there _ and could obviously hear.

“Aye are you a girl? What are you doing here?” a second voice said, sounding almost startled.

Rennies head was swarming with her inner voice yelling at her to get out, berating her for being stupid enough to think she should use a public restroom, and she was so focused on the heat of her chest she hardly even noticed the sound of another kid coming inside the bathroom.

“Hey, you heard us? Girls room is on the other side of the hall” the voice repeated mockingly 

“I-I'm not- I'm not a girl” She turned the water to scolding hot, hoping it would distract her from the trembling in her hands

“Dude what?”

“Oh shit, it said it's not a girl!”

“Oh what the fuck?”

The echoing of their laughter wasn't making it any easier to control her head. God why did she come here in the first place, this was all her fault. 

“Yoo that sounded like a f*gg*t oh my god…”

“creepy as fuck bro…”

The laughing continued, encouraging the burning in her eyes as she shut the water off and nearly tripped her way for a paper towel, hoping to leave as soon as possible. She was nearly there until she felt a hand on her shoulder turn her around to face the group.

They looked just as disgusting as their voices were, messy faces and unkempt hair, wide crooked grins and mean narrow eyes. They looked so much more threatening than Jean and Gabriella. She couldn't bring herself to keep looking at them and instead kept her eyes glued on a dirtied crack in the floor where the ground met the wall

“This ain't the fuckin place for f*agg*ts bro, better watch your fuckin step ‘for ya get hurt”

Her eyes were burning harder and she felt the trickle of tears forming, she was doing everything in the little power she had to not start crying just from the overwhelming anxiety alone, there was no way she could let herself break in front of assholes like this. Right before her emotions finally gave in, she saw through her peripherals as the kid grabbing onto her was swung out from in front of her with a loud crack. Startled, Rennie looked up to see Jean standing in his place with his brows furrowed in a glare even nastier than the rest of the guys, with his fist outreached where the kids face had been.

She'd never seen Jean this angry before.

“Get your hands off the kid, you fuckin piss-stain lookin bitch” His words were spat out like gunshots, his voice low and threatening. It sent chills down Rennies spine

The rest of the group tried to shoot a fist back at Jean, but he swiftly snatched one kid by the collar and easily threw him on top of the other two, effectively knocking them all down. He hadn't even blinked an eye, or responded to their yells of insults protests. Jean silently stalked back up to the first kid he punched and knelt down to his level, grabbing a fistful of his hair and tilting his head up to look Jean in the eyes

“I ever hear you callin someone a f*g, or see you  _ touchin _ that kid right there, Imma have you wishin’ I’m still in jail by the time you’re outa the hospital” He hadn't even given the kid time to respond before throwing his head back down and standing up to face Rennie

“You okay Ren?” He said, leading her out the bathroom. The change of tone in his voice was so dramatic, it actually made her speechless. Just a moment ago he sounded like he was on the verge of murder, but when he looked at her with those careful eyes and placed a gentle hand on her lower back as he led them out and spoke with a voice so full of worry, Renny found herself melting in his touch.

“Y-yeah… I'm- I'm fine…” The shaking in her voice had shifted from the shameful anxiety to shock. She wasn't scared though, that was for sure

“You're shaking”

“I've just... never seen a fight before. It startled me” She’s seen a few fights, if she was honest, but that didn't mean seeing them didn't shake her up every time anyway.

“Yeah well those fucks had it coming. Sorry you had to see that…”

“No no, It's fine! I, uh… well, thank you. For helping, I mean”

“Dude of course. You don't deserve that shit” Jean looked at her as he said that, his brows curled in a look like that statement should've been obvious. Even still, he had a smile on his face that Rennie wasn't sure she'd seen before. It looked… happy. Genuinely happy and caring, and it looked completely different from all the sleazy grins he normally pulls. She couldn't help but smile back.

After a moment she noticed that they had stopped walking to their class at some point, the two just standing in the hallway looking at each other. Suddenly she didn't feel the urge to rush to 3rd period

“So… mind if I ask you a question?” Jean started

“Go ahead”

“Are you… Are you actually a guy?”

When he noticed the awkward look on Rennies face, he continued

“I just wanna like, make sure… Cause I know there's things like transgender people and stuff, and you always look pretty girly, so… Just wanna make sure I'm not being offensive or assuming…” With the way he tip-toed around his words, Rennie could tell he's never actually known a transgender person before. But there wasn't an inch of humor with how he spoke, unlike most people who made a joke of her identity. Jean was actually being considerate of her feelings.

Despite all the years she's been telling herself to never speak about her gender to anyone again, she looked at those honest eyes of his and knew there was no way she could manage to keep it a secret from him.

“Yeah, uhm… I'm trans”

“So what's that mean?”

“I'm a girl”

“Gotchu”

And that was it. Jean not once ever questioned her, laughed, denied or tried to educate her on males and females, he just accepted that answer, started using her pronouns and left it at that. For the first time in her life, she finally felt  _ normal _ when her sister Evelyn wasn't around. Jean was the only kid in school who knew, and something about that made Rennie feel a little closer to him. Closer in an odd and indescribable way, but whatever it was made her feel a bit safer when she walked into the doors of the school. Jean was still annoying as ever, but… there was more to him than his stupid jokes.

Maybe the school year wouldn't be as bad as she thought it'd be.

\---

A few more weeks had gone by and aside from her interesting encounter with Jean in the bathroom, not much as changed. Rennie still wakes up every morning with a groan, knowing she has to go to school to be met with a morning full of Gabrielle and Jeans sense of humor (or lack there-of if she were to be honest), and a day of more school work to do alone. She’s made no luck in the friend department, not to her surprise. Rennie was never the best at socializing and being the new kid hasn’t made a single thing easier for her.

Nope, Rennie decided to just accept the cards she’s been dealt with and survive the year as best she could with no social life. Which… should’ve been easy, really, Rennie thought to herself. How long has it been since all her old friends left her and she’d moved to a new school entirely? Too long to continue to mope about it, that was for sure. Rennie was hoping she could just focus on the workload from school to keep her distracted, but it just wasn’t doing the trick. She didn’t want to believe dealing with Jean and Gabriellas stupid teasing would be the best interactions she could hope for throughout the day, but aside from the occasional student asking to borrow a pencil from her, no other students spoke to her.

Rennie was mindlessly doodling circles on her notebook, vaguely listening to whatever Mr. Firtz was teaching the class. She’s normally a better student than this but after what felt like forever just floating through school every day, Rennie couldn’t bring herself to pay attention to another mind-numbing lesson so early in the morning. She just needed a little taste of something interesting in her life at the moment...

“-and so our next class assignment will be a fun playwright project!”

There was a chorus of groans among the students after Mr. Firtz introduced the project he must’ve been going on about. Not many kids in this class seemed to have any interest in the art of acting. She doesn't understand why they took the class in the first place, but Rennie on the other hand couldn't be more pleased. Writing a scene seems pretty damn interesting! She's done that on her own plenty of times, this was going to be a piece of cake. It’s about time she’s had an opportunity to whip out her imagination, since reality wasn’t giving her much at the moment.

A loud slam of the door interrupted Rennies train of thought, and she looked towards the entrance to see Jean stalking in confidently, not to her surprise. He made a habit of coming in late every morning, and every time he had to make a grand entrance. Who is he trying to please with that anyway…

Mr. Firtz seemed to be thinking the same thing. He stared Jean down with the look he gave him every other morning he barged into the room, the look of ‘Are you serious?’

“Whaddaya given me them eyes for, Mister?”

“Just take your seat Jean Carlos, please try not to disturb the class next time"    
  
"please try not to get on my nerves, Mister. Capiche?"

Rennie needs to remind herself that Jean can't be that bad of a guy. It gets harder and harder to remember when he says stuff like that. Honestly, why does he have to be so rude?

Mr. Firtz sighed and went on with the class, ignoring Jean who had Gabriella laughing with him as he sat down

“Anyway, you'll need to work with partners to write a short 2-5 minute, two person scene. So pair up!”

Dammit. 

Rennie was a fantastic independent student. Partner projects were where things went… less than okay, to say the least. She internally sighed as she looked around the class, seeing everyone easily get themselves into pairs. It always went this way, the students pairing up in seconds and leaving Rennie alone or to be put into a group that clearly didn't want her there. She's gotten used to it at this point, now she just waits patiently until someone- most likely the teacher- puts her with someone.

Not surprisingly, Jean and Gabriella were quick to exchange knowing looks, planning to work together as they usually do.

“Oh no you don't! you two won't get any work done together! here, I'll choose your partners..." Mr. Firtz called out as he caught their exchange   
  
"Awh c’mon now!" Gabriella protested.    
  
"Damn mister, quit ruinin' the fun 'round here!" Jean sighed as he stood up, ready to argue. Mr. Firtz approached them, his hand up as if to hush them

Rennie found herself catching interest in the conversation between the two. Mr. Firtz hasn't ever broken up those two before, he normally just went along with their shenanigans. No wonder the friends were getting so annoyed.    
  
"Uh-Uhn, there's no way I'm letting you two work together, this project will be a huge part of your grade for the third semester! Here, Jean Carlos, why don't you work with…

Rennie!”

What?!

“Uh, I can work on the project alone Mr. Firtz…”

Yeah, Jean may have been nice that one day, but he was still constantly nagging her. Not to mention he does nothing but fool around in class. He'd definitely hold her back, or spend the whole project teasing her over how she actually enjoys projects like this.

Can't she just enjoy her writing in peace?!

“Nonsense, you’ll need a partner to act out your scene with anyway. Maybe you can teach Jean a thing or two about writing, you're so good at it! You two’ll be fine!” He waved his hand dismissively at Rennies protest.

***

They, in fact, were not fine.

Everytime Rennie and Jean got together to work on the project, Jean would do anything but. The first week they had attempted to get any sort of work done on the “Romance” scene they were assigned to write, Jean insisted they weren’t going to get an inch of inspiration by working in the city park a couple blocks from their school, like Rennie had initially suggested. When Rennie explained she’d willingly do all the writing (partly because she enjoyed it but mostly because if she let Jean do any writing they’d fail for sure), He was quick to argue he knew of a better place for them to practice acting their scene in peace. 

He had walked her all the way out of their city, into a smaller more run-down town, and just when Rennie thought he’d gotten them lost, Jean casually led her to what seemed like a small little ghost town. It had been about a half hour walk, and while it tired the hell out of Rennie, she had to admit she was glad he brought her here.

“I found this place when I was just a kid, been comin’ here to chill since. City gets too loud sometimes, y’know?”

The town's buildings were falling to pieces, graffiti and weeds covering every square inch of the ones that managed to stand tall. The grass hadn’t been cut in years and there wasn’t a single other person as far as Rennie could see, and yet there was something so gorgeous about the area. Rennie didn’t glare at Jean as he threw an arm around her shoulder and led her into the nearby woods, easily making his way through the thick trees and bushes as if he had been here a million times. He held her until they met a small and peaceful little stream adding more ambience to the sound of the tree leaves rustling and dirt crunching beneath their feet. 

How was Rennie supposed to focus on writing some school project while being surrounded by such beautiful flowers, the smell of fresh moss filling the air? She couldn’t believe she let him distract her so easily, yet every day she couldn’t help but follow him to that same ghost town.

One rainy day, when Rennie thought they’d finally get some work done, Jean promised that if she just joined him at his friend Shylons house, they’d get their work done in peace. Shylon, a year older and seemingly much more mature than Jean, agreed with his plan and invited Rennie into his home. Yet what was supposed to be a quiet and productive time with Jean turned into… a rock concert in his basement.

Apparently, Jean and his friends were incredibly talented when it came to music. Gabriella was the first to insist that Rennie be an audience to their little jam session as soon as she found out Rennie would be joining them. Rennie wasn’t expecting much, being she’s not the biggest fan of heavier music, but to her surprise their talent alone kept her wide-eyed during their entire performance for her. With Gabriella on bass, Shylon on drums, and Jean on guitar and vocals, they sounded like the perfect trio.

Rennie would be lying if nearly all her focus wasn’t on Jean the entire time though. She’s seen a few different sides of Jean by now; sleazy, murderous, even outdoorsy, but she was loving every inch of the care-free and lighthearted joy he had while he played his music. The way he bobbed his head along with the tune he was playing so effortlessly on his guitar, and closed his eyes to feel the music he was singing… Rennie found herself growing a fondness for rock music. If it was performed by Jean, of course. 

Needless to say, the two hadn’t gotten any work done on their project during the rainy days either. Which was often, given the temperatures warming as winter turned to spring.

She was beside herself, with barely a week left until their project was due and not even a simple title being done, she couldn’t believe she let herself get distracted by one of the most irritating people she’s met in her new school. The worst part of it is... Rennie is enjoying every second of it. She's tried to keep him on track with their work but there's something about Jean that just makes her mind all fuzzy. Whenever she learns something new about him, like how he protects his little sibling from bullies, or his silly fear of slimy things, or his amazing voice, she finds herself wanting to know what other surprises he has in store under that tough-guy persona he seems to put up at school.

This is crazy isn't it? Every sensible part in her brain is telling Rennie she should be hating this tall and muscly guy who has nothing but shitty jokes to crack and rough knuckles from all the pointless fighting he does, but there's something else telling her his genuine smile is absolutely adorable, and that maybe she doesn't mind risking the quality of her project for this time spent with him. Over the past few days, that voice has been getting louder and louder. 

The logical voice in her head was quietly whispering along under the soft sound of Jean and her talking as he walked her home after another long and progressless day. The two stopped just in front of the stairs to her front door, their laughs quieting down. 

“So same time tomorrow, nerd?” Jean said, sitting on his bike to leave.

“You know Jean, we haven't even started the project yet. It's due in like, a week"

He scoffed and pushed stray hair away from his face, “We can uh, work on it tomorrow. For sure" He finished with finger guns pointed at her, clearly not making any promises.

Rennie looked around to find her mother's car not around, neither was Evelyn's. 

“We can work on it at my place… right now, I mean. My mom and sister aren't home" 

Did that sound awkward? Geez, Rennie hasn't invited someone to her house in years, she's out of touch with how it goes. Maybe she should've just ignored it, dammit, now she's made it awkward-

“Uh, you sure that'll be okay? Like, what if they come back…” What's with that shy look he's giving her, stop looking so damn cute!!

“It'll be fine, we're just working on the project. Besides, I haven't invited someone over in so long, my mom will be excited if anything."

Jean laughed at that, “You're real fuckin weird, Rennie"

“Tell me something I don't know"

And with that, Jean set his bike down in the front with a lock, while Rennie opened the door to show him inside. It was a quick walk up the stairs to his apartment and into Rennie’s room where Jean joked about all the “nerd shit" she had in her side of the bedroom. She dodged the questions he made about the pictures of her father tapped over her wall, thankfully. Sure, the family issues her father caused were part of the reason why Rennie and her family moved here in the first place, but she didn't feel like getting into that right now. She was enjoying herself, and didn’t want to burden the mood with her emotional baggage. Within moments they were sitting on her bed with Rennie and Evelyn's laptop open, searching for inspiration from other romance plays. They spent a good amount of time looking at famous scenes from famous romance comedies or romance dramas, anything that screamed “love"

“Wait, what characters are we playing?” Jean said while Rennie was scrolling through videos of  _ Streetcar Named Desire _

“We can decide names and stuff later, it's the actual script that's most important”

“Nah I mean, like, everyone in school thinks you're a guy so… like are we writing a gay script? Or are you playing a girl?”

“Oh, uh… I dunno, I didn't think that far. Maybe I should just play a girl, I don't wanna start anything"

Rennie was not going to move schools just for everyone to make jokes about her being the “fat f*g" again, oh no, especially if it risked Jean's reputation too. Well, not that she really worried too much about him, with his fighting skills and all, but he's probably her only friend at school right now and she'd hate to turn her back on him like that. Any good friend would do that for her too. Yeah, just good friends…

“‘Start anything’? Whaddaya mean?” 

“Well, I- Jean, people would probably think we're gay or something if we made a script about us being gay guys. There's no way that'll end well" Did he not realize that too?

“Pfft, they wouldn't be wrong"

Wait.

Fuck, is- is Jean gay?

He burst into laughter, throwing his head back, “Dude I'm only messin with ya! Well, partly I guess. Man you shoulda seen your face!” He continued to laugh but Rennie couldn't wipe whatever look she had off her face

“What do you mean ‘partly’?”

His laughter died off pretty quickly after that question, after a quick moment he was sitting back up on the bed, brushing hair out his face as his chuckles quieted

“Well, uh, I mean I do like guys I guess. But I like girls too. I dunno, gender was never really a big deal to me…”

By the way he was speaking, Rennie wondered if Jean's ever spoken about this with anyone before. He seems unusually shy for someone who so openly jokes about his dad running away from him as a child. He must've noticed her stare, because he quickly changed the subject to her,

“Shit Ren, what's with them eyes? What about you then, what do you like?”

“Uh, guys I guess… but I mean, I wouldn't really turn someone down if they weren't a guy”

It quickly turned into a game of getting the focus off themselves 

“Have you ever been with a guy before?” Rennie edged on

“Nah, only cis girls. What about you, you ever messed with a guy?”

“‘Messed with’? Like,  _ done it _ with a guy? Of course not”

He laughed at that one, “ _ Sex _ , you mean? Ha, well I guess that makes both of us"

There was a brief pause as they both considered what to say. Rennie managed to speak first

“So you said you've been with cis girls but… I dunno, would you ever wanna date a trans girl?”

Bold fucking move, Rennie 

“If I like her, then yeah, of course. Trans girl, cis girl, or cis guy or trans guy or whatever the fuck else. I could care less”

Rennie swears her heart almost fell out her chest at that

“Okay, uh, what kind of guys do you like then?”

“Oh, I don't really know, I've never really thought too much about it”

That was a complete lie. In fact, Rennie has been rolling over the idea of her feelings for Jean for quite some time now. Sure, she’s been attracted to some passing guys growing up but never has she felt anything like what she feels about Jean. Most often than not, she purposely didn’t think about it. The idea of him rejecting her was too scary to imagine. But, maybe she  _ did _ have a chance with him, as crazy as it seemed to her...

“Aw c'mon Rennie, you can't think of one guy you've been into?” He was really pushing her into a corner here, “Describe him for me, what'd he look like?”

_ Oh no, oh no, oh hell no. _ This could either go really well, or she could ruin the rest of her fucking career at this school.

“Okay, well… I guess there is one. He's tall, really tall,” Jean laughed at that, mentioning something about how every guy is tall to her, “And… he has this really soft and long black hair”

Rennie noticed that for some reason Jean had stopped looking at her while she spoke. He kept his eyes down and away from her, his leg bouncing up and down while he sat on the edge of her bed. Why did he seem so on edge?

“Is it someone in our school?” Even his voice sounded more low and put off than only a few moments ago. Rennie wondered if she was pulling the wrong move here. What if Jean was so disturbed at the idea of her liking someone that he’d stop talking to her? Especially if he found out that it was him?!

“Hello? Earth to Rennie?? Who’s the guy you're into?” He said, waving a hand in front of her. She snapped out of the hole she was worrying herself into and smiled 

“I can't just tell you"

“What? Why?”

_ Because it's you _

“Because that's embarrassing!”

“Alright then, keep describing him, maybe I'll guess. If I know him I could maybe even hook yall up"

“Oh you know him alright”

“Huh?”

“So I said long black hair and tall already… He’s pretty skinny too, but like a muscular type of skinny. He's older than me, I think, and… he's multilingual”

“I don't even know what that means but that shit sounds cool”

“Yeah well, I think he is. He has a bike that he tries to do tricks on, he's not too great but it's better than anything I can do. And he's amazing at guitar and singing"

“Oh shit, you know another guy who plays music  _ and _ does bmx? I gotta meet him" Rennie chuckled at that

“He's only in one of my classes but he's around me all the time"

Jean looked like he was seriously trying to think of some other guy like she was describing. Maybe she should mention how the guy she’s into is such a fool.

“Wait a minute, how haven't I seen him then? You're like, always alone whenever I see you…”

“You've definitely seen him, Jean. He's in my first period class"

He looked completely clueless!

“In our class? A tall, skinny guy with long black hair… who rides a bike and plays guitar… and is mutli-languaged…”

God he's hopeless. 

“You can't think of anyone in our class like that?” Jean looked at her with the most blank stare she's seen in her life. 

“He's Asian and Latino, if that helps. and he sits right next to me…”

Jean's head snapped up at that. He finally got it. Rennie couldn't bring herself to look at him but she could see him staring at her from her peripherals. Had she misread him these past few weeks? With the way he's been acting around her she thought maybe he could… dammit, what if she was just being hopeful. She could've at least had a decent friendship but now-

"Holy- holy shit…" His hands were gripping the bed like his life depended on it. As she saw his head turn to face hers, she kept her eyes on his hands, studying every wrinkle and scratch on his knuckles, anything to keep her mind racing with the deafening silence she was met with. Rennie couldn’t bring herself to meet his stare with her stomach burning as she waited for a response.

“...Are you for real?”

Rennie felt herself sink in with those words. She knew she should've kept quiet, how could she let herself believe someone might actually have feelings for her?

“S-sorry, I… I shouldn’t have said anything, just forget I mentioned it-”

“No! Wait uh, that’s not what I meant,” He reached for her hand, finally getting Rennie to jump and meet eyes with him. What she saw was completely unexpected

Jean was  _ blushing _ . Like, really blushing. She’s never seen him look anything but sleazy and overly confident in the nearly 5 months she’s known him, but now she could describe his face as being… nervous. Bashful, even. It wasn’t disgust or awkwardness like she had anticipated.

His hand was holding hers with the same softness that day he defended her against those bullies. Yet again, Rennie was seeing another side of Jean and yet again, he had her melting in his touch.

“I meant like, there’s no way. I had the hots for you since day one, there’s no way a girl like you would be into a guy like me” He forced out a laugh, doing a bad job of covering up his nervous energy. Not like Rennie was doing any better though, her chest felt like it was pounding loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear.

“I- ...What?” Jean once again left her speechless. She should be the one saying the same thing to him

“Whaddaya look so surprised for? I was always flirtin’ with you and shit when you first got here”

“That was you trying to  _ flirt _ ?” Rennie thought back to all the times he’s teased her or thrown an unwanted arm around her shoulder or distracted her during class. If that’s what he calls flirting, Rennie felt bad for all the previous girls he claims to have been with.

Though… picturing those memories through a different lens, Rennie understood his “bullying” a little differently.

The way he always found something about her outfit to compliment. Every “Nice sweater-vest” and “Cute jeans, new kid” was said with a smirk and a chuckle, but he did manage to notice something about her every day. Jean had even managed to memorize her schedule, just to stop by her classes every once in a while. Granted, he caused nothing but trouble, but he went out of his way to see her. Now Rennie could see how whenever Jean put an arm around her shoulder, he was never rough with her like he is with Gabriella. 

Rennie found her own face flush at the idea of Jean actually liking her for so long, and she hadn’t even noticed.

“Well, shit, I tried didn’t I?” He laughed, but his face was telling her Jean understood her confusion, “I thought you just fuckin hated me. I know you wanted to get this project done or whatever, but I’m just happy I got to be around you more…”

Rennie didn’t know what she was expecting when she confessed her feelings for the first time in her life, but she for sure wasn’t ready to be met with such a corny response. From  _ Jean  _ of all people! If you asked him to describe romance he’d tell you to go to Porn Hub, and yet here he was making her heart flutter and cheeks burn.

She chuckled, a shaky chuckle just to let out the immense amount of tension she was holding in her chest.

“I can’t believe you… you’re such a softie…”

“I’m your softie tho, ain’t I?” He said with a grin, earning a playful punch to his chest. 

The two continued to laugh and Rennie found herself feeling as though a massive weight had been ripped off her shoulder. The two were just sitting in the small and messy room she shared with her sister, on a thursday afternoon trying to finish a project due in a week, and yet she’s never felt more content. After months of believing she’d be stuck in that emotional rut of loneliness, Rennie found herself feeling happy, and most of all she felt  _ loved _ .

“So… what does this mean now? If we really do like each other, then…” Rennie asked as their laughter died down

“Then… do you, uh, wanna be my girlfriend?” Despite Rennies obvious confession, Jean was tip-toeing around his words like he wasn’t sure if she was being serious.

“Well of course but… Do you want to be my boyfriend?”

“Think my answer is fucking obvious, Ren”

“So it’s official then”

Rennie felt her stomach churning but it wasn’t with anxiety. In fact, she couldn’t be happier. Deciding to be bold again, Rennie reached a hand around the back of Jean's neck, pulling him down to her height to place a soft kiss on the side of his cheek. She smiled as she felt him return the gesture. His lips were more gentle than Rennie would’ve imagined, but she was finding there were a lot of ways Jean surprised her lately.

“Okay Jean, we really need to work on the project now” She said through giggles as she tried to break free of Jean's arms that were wrapped around her waist.

“Fuck, can’t we just keep kissin? That's romantic enough for our scene, right?”

Rennie rolled her eyes but she really couldn’t keep the smile off her face. She’d be damned if she let herself get a failing grade on this project, but if there was one thing worth getting distracted for, it was Jean.

**Author's Note:**

> uuhuuheehuhuu I hope you like it... I'd appreciate any comments or thoughts, this is the first time I'm posting any of my original writings!


End file.
